I’m about a month and a half into this year-long detox, and just over two months into full time #officelife.
Overall, I feel pretty good. It turns out – for all my years of being a creature of the night – I actually really enjoy keeping regular hours. I’ve been cooking more, even trying to learn to bake my own bread. In the interest of full disclosure: SoberYear hasn’t been flawless. I’ve had a few cigarettes over the last 40 days, and I had a couple of pops this weekend. But, overall, I feel like I’m doing well.
Over the weekend, I flew home to Michigan for a cousin’s wedding. It was a beautiful affair, and I got to spend it with one of my absolutely favorite friends from out East. Alas, there’s nothing like squeezing into a pretty dress to remind one of their body issues.
I weighed myself at my parents house. I am not exactly thrilled to announce the results, but the point is to be honest here, right? I currently weigh nearly 250lbs: the biggest I’ve been in my life.
And that sucks.
As such, it’s time for “Phase II.” It’s time to join a gym, to get my insurance company to reimburse me for it, and to start taking my weight – and ultimately my future – more seriously.
I’ve always had issues with my weight, and with my self image as a related side effect. This won’t be easy. I’m from a hefty family. I have hypothyroidism. I really like cheese. I’m human. However, as with the same motivation that spawned SoberYear, it’s time to get serious and to start taking better care of myself.
I’ve been talking about taking better care of myself inside and out for a long while now: I try to pay attention to the quality and sourcing of food that I eat, I ride a bike, I’m in therapy, I’m slowly switching my cosmetics to Lush, I drink a ton of water. Baby steps.
I’ve always been, well, afraid to actually buckle down and tackle my weight. I could blame it on a million things, but there’s no sense in that. No more excuses. I’ve always told myself it wouldn’t get out of hand, and it has. And, again, I’m pouring my soul out onto this webspace so that I have an audience (even if it’s just me) to hold myself accountable.
40:325
