Ebb/Flow

Down: My hair was really flat all day.

Up: I found awesome lipgloss at Walgreens in a shade that’s basically perfect for me.

Down: I tore the zipper on my makeup bag.

Up: I’ve resisted the urge to go to Taco Bell two nights in a row.

Down: I had Burger King for lunch.

Up: The car started today, after yesterday’s frozen-engine-fiasco.

Down: I’m pretty sure I accidentally offended a coworker because I can’t read the signs of when a conversation should be over.

Up: I got paid today.

Down: I’m also pretty sure that I interrupted my neighbors’ pizza-and-beer night by dropping in to give them a heads-up, and staying longer than necessary.

Up: I have the house to myself.

Down: I’m lonely.

Up: I have the weekend off.

Down: I feel really fat right now.

I could probably go on like this forever. It’s been a weird day, and an even weirder week. I essentially loathe working at Starbucks after 3pm, and I’ve worked the evening or close shift for the last five days. I am tired, but not tired enough to go to bed.

I think this is what they legally classify as insomnia.

I guess I should go find something productive to do.

Don’t call this a comeback.

There is a screaming, sobbing child walking down the sidewalk outside my window. It is January in Minnesota… should I be able to hear through this pane of glass? More importantly, should there be a draft significant enough to move the fibers of the (stolen) Divine Comedy fire flag I have hanging in my window?

My toes are cold.

Apparently so is my creativity.

I haven’t been able to come up with very many mildly amusing observations on my life lately.  I also haven’t really taken any pictures since the wedding.  That last one is only partly true: there have been plenty of embarassing Skype snaps and BlackBerry pictures of The Anna uploaded to Facebook.

I blame the weather.  It has been so unreasonably cold here that I can’t really force myself to do much aside from trudge to work, shuffle coffee for eight hours or so, and then trudge home.  My living situation (that whole 1,400 miles from my beautiful girlfriend thing) combined with the weather and my proximity to the fledgling public transportation system exhausts me.

Sometimes it feels like I want nothing more than to run off with a camera and explode in film and light.  That is, until I realize that there is something I want more than that, and it’s to not lose and appendage to frost bite.

I haven’t mentioned yet that my girlfriend, aside from being beautiful and smart and funny and talented, is also certifiably insane.  She packed up her cat and drove 1,400 miles over 27hrs during seven blizzards from Boston just to spend xmas with me.  She later found out that twenty people DIED on that exact stretch of road she took to me.  To date, probably the best xmas gift ever.

I’m starting to remember why I hadn’t been touching this thing.  My thoughts are far too disjointed, and seemingly uninteresting.  I don’t really do much with my days, and discussing lattes and French roast gets kind of old.

Something smells like cotton candy.

Because My Own Words Escape Me…

Lately I feel so small… Or maybe it’s just that my bed has grown.  I never noticed it before, but you were there so how was I to know that this single bed was always meant for two?  Not just anyone; it was meant for me and you.

And now you’re halfway ’round the world, and I’m just a day behind.  Nothing seems to fill the hole that I have since you left my side.  You’ll always be my little girl, though I can’t hold you tonight.  And now you’re halfway around the world, and I’m just a day behind.

I wake up in the night, and I turn around to find that you’re not there.  I just like to watch you sleep and lay by you, I love to feel you near.  I think I’m going crazy, everyday confusion starts to grow.  I never noticed it before, but you were there so how was I to know that this single bed was always meant for two?  Not just anyone; it was meant for me and you.

And now you’re halfway ’round the world, and I’m just a day behind.  Nothing seems to fill the hole that I have since you left my side.  You’ll always be my little girl, though I cant hold you tonight.  And now you’re halfway around the world, and I’m just a day behind.

“Belgium” – Bowling for Soup.