Home is Where the Heart is?

I have moved. Again. This time to WordPress (obviously, this is on their servers). I was playing around with my blogspot space, trying to make it more visually appealing to my bored eyes. I did not succeed. Instead, I became incredibly annoyed with blogspot, moved over here, imported all of my old entries, and will probably be completely deleting the other soon; maybe even within the week.

Next project? There are several. Create a new page for photos, update everyone on the status of my winter trip home, and dig through the last few years of posts to categorize them all. What an endeavor.

I still really want ice cream. I think I’m going to the store.

The end of the semester is looming, much like the rest of this eight hour shift in the DPL. Christballs, this is going to be a long day.

Truthfully, the semester is basically over for me. I finished my documentary proposal on Monday, anticipating a long and arduous final exam/paper for another class. On Tuesday, the day I was to receive the parameters for the second paper, I instead found out that my grades are such to warrant my not taking the final. I had a Judaism final (turned into a take-home because of the snow) yesterday, and I technically have an Editing written test on Monday. But for the most part, I am done and am now just going through the motions until I’m able to fly home.

Jared came into town to visit on Wednesday night. I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years, so it was nice to play catch-up… and actually not get into a huge fight like I had anticipated. On a related note, I have my first UTI. Owie.

I have nothing to say, and I have even less to do today. It’s really hard to be paid $8.25 for this job. Some days, I almost feel guilty.

I’m a creep.

I listened to this song (“Creep” by Radiohead, off of Pablo Honey) approximately 10 times on loop during my commute home this evening.

I didn’t pay attention to anything or look at anyone or think about anything except for track count. I stared at the ground, ignored the ice and the cold and the pain in my ankle, and I walked home at what I think now must have been close to a breakneck pace, given how much it initially hurt to climb the porch stairs. I meditated for what may have been the first time in months. I allowed myself to be completely absorbed by the song; to trust my internal GPS that I’d actually make it home and not step in front of a bus (as I was also ignoring street lights. Thankfully there are only TWO on that entire fifteen minute walk home).

I recently read something by Chuck Klosterman about how much Kid Rock hates Radiohead. My opinion of Kid Rock after reading said footnote was that Kid Rock either A) is an idiot or B) has never heard this song before. The former might be true, the latter most certainly is not.

Now, I know that this song is INCREDIBLY popular. Hell, it’s even on Sing Star. In most cases–especially with today’s quote-unquote “popular culture(?)”–actually having a song that is popular and well rotated is a bad thing. However, I’d like to continue believing that this song became popular in a time when songs were heavily played because they were GOOD. Aside from the lyrics being completely relevant to EVERYBODY that ever went through puberty and/or college, this song is just brilliantly composed. Subtle moving guitar lines, eerie bass, minimal drum. Joy.

I’ve listened to this song now another ten times in the publishing of this little snippet. (I’m also conversing via AIM and running to the bathroom a lot because I’m drinking beer.) And I don’t think that anything else could have come close to defining the mood I was in after class, nor to helping me overcome it.

When you were here before,
Couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You’re so fucking special

But I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin’ here?
I don’t belong here

I don’t care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I’m not around
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin’ here?
I don’t belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She’s running out the door
She’s running out
She run run run run…
run…

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin’ here?
I don’t belong here

I don’t belong here…